Eating the 12 days of Christmas

‘Tis the season is it not and in honour of the enchanting atmosphere of festive joy hanging in the crisp (read: slightly damp) winter air I thought it was time for a truly Christmassy post, and what could be more Christmassy than these twelve days.

The ‘12 Days of Christmas’ song has been sung in the UK since the 18th century, if you haven’t heard it you’re in for a treat:

The rhyme was first published in the children’s book Mirth without Mischief in 1780, and I can’t help but notice that half of the presents ‘my true love gave to me’ would be very easily cooked. No, I am not suggesting at all that the author was a cannibal or promoting you tracking down a dancing lady or drumming drummer and throwing either of them in the oven; I was referring to the birds.

From six of the more traditional ‘geese-a-laying’ to the two more unfamiliar turtledoves, I can’t help but wonder if the author was compiling a plan for a party. Piping pipers and drumming drummers certainly would have provided enough entertainment for an 18th century crowd. And the dancing ladies and leaping lords would have made up a lively guestlist. The 23-bird spread would have been impressive, slightly medieval in size (and slightly illegal considering the swans), but impressive nonetheless.

Unfortunately I don’t have access to any hens, French or otherwise, so I can’t start experimenting with what dishes might have been served at this wild event. Instead, all of us here at Got Meat. have compiled a selection of recipes on our Pinterest board just in case some of you want to try out something new this Christmas. Have a look here

And don’t worry, the swan recipes are vegetarian…

All together now:

On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me…

Twelve drummers drumming

Eleven pipers piping

Ten lords-a-leaping

Nine ladies dancing

Eight maids-a-milking

Seven swans-a-swimming

Six geese-a-laying

Fiiiiiiive golden riiiiings

Four calling birds

Three french hens

Two turtledoves

And a partridge in a pear tree

Happy Christmas everyone!

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Our Bacon Addiction

They say the best way to a person’s heart is through their stomach, more specifically: feed them bacon.

It doesn’t seem to matter in what form anymore; there are a million options from bacon ice cream to those little bacon bits you can sprinkle over any meal to give it that extra unhealthy kick.

It’s an odd world we live in where our every necessity can be replaced with a bacon version…

You’re having a shower, make sure you get the bacon soap into all those hard to reach places. Brush your teeth with some bacon toothpaste. Don’t forget the bacon floss, how else are you ever going to get that nagging bit of bacon rind out from between your back teeth? Whack on your bacon underwear, and you’re almost ready for a night on the town. It’s Halloween; why not dress up like bacon? There are plenty of outfit options available (it’s been done since 1894). Don’t forget your bacon wallet!

When you get to the bar, order a bacon vodka martini. Ask the bartender to sprinkle bacon salt around the edge of the glass. You meet a girl. Maybe you say: “You bacon me crazy” (She might be easily impressed). Those bacon condoms you bought earlier might come in handy, if you’re lucky. If you don’t score though, not to worry, you can always go home and play a bacon game, or make a bacon sandwich. After all bacon is better than sex, well some Canadians think so.

Ridiculous.

So what is this obsession? What it is about cooking a pig’s fattiest parts that makes the mouths of the whole human race water (mine included)? Well that’s just it isn’t it, fat. It’s addictive to a certain extent, I mean it’s not cocaine, as some might say, but it’s not easy to stop. NPR labelled it a “gateway meat” because the high fat content “speaks to our evolutionary quest for calories”. According to the New York Times it “rewards the brain with instant feelings of pleasure.” Maybe that’s the secret, I don’t know, all that’s certain is that I need a bacon sandwich.

Mmmm.

Mmmm.

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