I’ve just re-stumbled across this hilarious piece by Anna Drezen, I loved it the first time and it’s still hilarious now!
1. Go to the butcher. Look him dead in the eye and say “Meat.” If he’s a man worth half his salt, he’ll know.
2. Take that meat.
3. Kick your door open with your head. Go find the fire-room (kitchen, to the feminized).
4. Toss part of meat in an old iron skillet your grandfather gave you the day you shot your first buck. A flat stone covered in noseblood works, too.
5. Rub it with some red spice, a little beige spice, some green fucking leaves, and whatever liquid’s got your goat. This ain’t math. It’s sex. You’re having sex with the meat.
6. Have sex with the meat.
7. Cook the ever loving Christ out of it. Cook it, good God, your father saved the life of every man in his unit when he was your age, cook the god danged meat or hang…
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